One of the many perks of being a candy critic is all of the edible gifts you receive from beautiful women. Of course, women thrust their offerings (food and otherwise) upon me daily whether they know my work here at VCSE or not, but there is something particularly enjoyable about those presents that are dropped into my lap under the context of review: they are meant to be judged. The only thing better than free candy is free candy that you are allowed to hate.
This is not to say that I hate Sweet Fristy's Oreo Truffles—I'm calling them that because I can find no official documentation of their real name and can't find the inspiration within me to come up with a more whimsical title—no, I feel quite the contrary. It is impossible not to love them, as they are in fact vegan Oreo truffles, and I challenge anyone to prove me wrong. If there does exist such a person, I venture to guess that she also hates smiles, sex, and Harry Nilsson, or is diabetic. None of those types of people should be reading this blog in the first place.
For those of you with healthy senses of enjoyment and functioning pancreata, these Oreo Truffles will satisfy you fully and efficiently, like two-minute a body massage given by a solar-powered teddy bear. Their taste is undoubtedly rooted in the darker side of chocolate—which vegans and good people the world over know to be the better side—without entrenching itself too deep into the spectrum. What I am left with, breath-wise, post-consumption is neither the regret of Too Sweet's shallow dryness nor Too Bitter's hateful acridity; rather, these are just right. Oreo's staccato notes supplement the choco-rhythm, not overtake it as their dominant placement on the truffle might suggest.
These truffles' innermost texture was a surprise for its density. Ingeniously, Fristy (if it is a person) has engineered these bon bons to force the biter to chew slowly, leading an unexpected counterattack on the careless, authoritative forces of quick eating. With five truffles to the box, it's a much-needed strategy, and I am all the more thankful that it is in place.
If I have any problem with these truffles, it is their deceptive packaging. A sticker on the orange box indicates that the contents are probably cupcakes, when it is merely Sweet Fristy's logo, signifying that SF is known for its cupcakes, but not that they only make cupcakes. With no prior experience with the company or warning that these were coming, I assumed at first that these were some kind of new candy/cupcake hybrid model, which really poses no problem to me, but which is inaccurate. And yes, I do eat things that come in the mail before I realize what they are. Usually the results are delicious.
These are in a word, superb. They taste great after a night in the freezer or directly out of the box, melting all over your fingers. Trust me, I have had them both ways. Unfortunately, you might have to wait a while (forever?) to try them, and other Sweet Fristy goods, for yourself. Right now the store has seemingly vanished from its home on Etsy, promising to be back soon. Personally, I can't stand the wait.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Upcoming Reviews: Vegan Candy
Fear not, for this blog is still among the living! Check back with us soon for the following reviews:
- Truffles from Sweet Fristy!
- Giant Chewy Nerds!
- Skittles, probably!
- Donuts?
- A fifth item!
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